Sunless as the moon

by raimperial

Another day marked the end of its life with a swansong of bright afternoon colours painted across the sky, through the flocculent clouds and even a few miles beneath on the still, grey waters of the nearby sea. What seemed like an eternally sun-lit sky a while ago had eventually turned into a perennial blanket of mystery. The brand new sky that I saw from my window, sparsely adorned with the faint traces of stars from light-years away, felt empty and denseless as the moon – usually seen glowing from an appreciable distance and magnitude – was nowhere to be found.

On the ground, the world lit up itself with countless light bulbs of countless shapes and sizes, independently surviving under a dark abyss extending outwardly and endlessly throughout space. Under these artificial lights I carried on with my activities: my homework, my online networking, my random day – or shall I say, sunless – dreaming; as if the dark evening sky simply became an accessory of time, a causative effect of the Earth’s rotation on its axis, not to mention a natural inducement for a human being like me to rest and fall asleep shortly afterwards.

But no, it doesn’t simply work that way. The evenings are never that simple. With darkness uncertainty looms just about everywhere – will there be another tomorrow? Will I make it through the night? What lies ahead this evening, what lies beneath the dark corners of my room? Where is the Sun, where is the warmness that I need to make me feel that I’m not alone?  The dark cold nights, they are the moments in my life when I feel most isolated and afraid. The nocturnal seas that surround me become a reflection – or rather, a realization – of my lonely thoughts; the empty walls, the hollow beatings of my heart; the ghastly remnants of my past, lurking behind my eyes, swimming inside my mind, continuously stabbing me,  reluctant to go away, unwilling to hide beneath the depths of my existence.

I stare at the yellow light before me, waiting for the next day to come, hoping for either love or happiness – or both – to finally come my way.